Why can’t I get things done?

Procrastinating is a very common human behavior.  We all fall victim to occasionally delaying or putting things off.  However, this behavior is one that can become problematic and have negative consequences in our lives!  Here are some important things to consider when you ask yourself about procrastination:

What am I putting off?

We can represent this behavior in multiple life domains, such as work, home, studying, health, social situations, financial issues, relationships, personal development and decision making.  This can happen with any task, problem, or goal.  Some people are able to complete tasks in one area of their life but not another.  Think for a moment first about how many domains of your life are impacted by this behavior.

What are my replacement activities?

It is also helpful to think about the behaviors you engage in as a replacement for the task needing accomplishment.  Most of the time these are pleasurable things; watching movies, reading, biking, or lower priority tasks; socializing with coworkers, checking emails, chores, or simply distractions like doom scrolling on social media, sleeping or eating.

Why is it hard to stop?

Often times we avoid the guilt that accompanies procrastination through our thoughts.  For example, we tell ourselves things like:

              “I am too tired, I will do it tomorrow”

              “It is much better to do this when I am in the mood”

              “I will get it done later on today when I feel better”

              “I have plenty of time to do this later”

What maintains this problem?

 This is often due to unhelpful rules or assumptions we hold about ourselves or how the world works.  These types of rules often will generate uncomfortable emotions around the task itself and procrastination then becomes our strategy to cope with this discomfort.

 Most frequently used sources are as follows:

o   A Need To Be In Charge (e.g., “Things should be done my way. I shouldn’t have to do things I don’t want to, or just because someone else says so”);

o   Pleasure Seeking (e.g., “Life’s too short to be doing things that are boring or hard, fun should always come first”);

o   Fear Of Failure/Disapproval (e.g., “I must do things perfectly, otherwise I will fail or others will think badly of me”);

o   Fear Of Uncertainty (e.g., “I must be certain of what will happen. What if it’s bad? I am better off not doing anything than risking it”);

o   Low Self-Confidence (e.g., “I can’t do it. I am just too incapable and inadequate”);

o   Depleted Energy (e.g., “I can’t do things when I am stressed, fatigued, unmotivated, or depressed”).

 So, we may experience some relief from our discomfort, but ultimately then get the opportunity to feel the negative longer-term consequences for our behavior. You may be asking yourself what can I do to cope with this problem more effectively?  You will need to know what needs to be done, how to do it and when it needs to be completed.  Often, we overestimate how long something will actually take to complete so it is important be clear and specific.

Take Action:

To gain clarity as to exactly what tasks or goals need to be done, try the following: write a ‘To Do’ list of tasks and goals you need to work on, prioritize the list of tasks, numbering them from most important to least important, grade each task, that is, break the task into all the small steps or ‘chunks’ that are involved in achieving the task;  finally, accurately estimate how much time each step of each task or goal will take. Do the Worst-First: knock out the worst task first, so all other tasks after that are easy by comparison. Use Momentum: start doing a task that you like and that energizes you, and then without a break quickly switch to a task that you have been putting off. Just 5-Minutes: plan to spend just 5 minutes on the task. This is such a small amount of time, so you will feel you can tolerate just 5 minutes. At the end of the 5 minutes, reassess and see if you can spend just another 5 minutes on the task, and so on. Set Time Limits: set a specific amount of time to work on a task (e.g., 30 minutes), and stick to just that, rather than extending things even if you feel you can.

I would also recommend starting with short reasonable time limits for task initiation.  Often once we get started it is easier to sustain our behavior.  There is more to learn about procrastination and more to follow in upcoming blog posts!  Set yourself up for success and you can overcome this debilitating behavior!

Regina Myers, LMHC